Holiday time again

This summer I have actually been away every month for a holiday, I feel as though I have been very decadent.  Two weeks in Scarborough in June, a week in Devon in July, a long weekend in Gloucestershire in August and now we're going camping in Wester Ross (North West Scotland) for a week.

I absolutely love camping, and can't wait to get away.  Camping lately has been virtually non-existent.  We went when I was six months pregnant with Little C, then we went again a year later when he was nine months old.  It was fun, but required a bit of a shift in mindset.  One of us couldn't cook the breakfast while the other was in the shower block, because we needed a constant eye on Little C, who was at the age of crawling and pulling himself up on things (camp chairs and stove etc).  We also found it really difficult to get the tent up because at the end of a long journey he was screaming and needed some attention.  So we haven't been since.  I've been getting camp withdrawal symptoms.

camping huts at Applecross

So anyway, we're going camping for a week.  We've pretty much accomplished the mind-shift to altering things in order to accommodate small children now.  And to solve some of the problems, we have opted to use a camping hut rather than a tent.
A camping hut is basically a wooden hut with four sleeping mats on the floor, and an electric heater.  Other than not needing to bring sleeping mats or a tent, the rest of your camping experience is just the same.

The advantages?  You don't need to put up a tent; the electric heater provides a bit of extra warmth for the little ones; you can stand up and move around more easily for getting nappies changed and children dressed; you don't have to crawl in and out; I still love 'proper' camping, but this is a good intro for the small ones, and will help us get back into the groove. 

So, where are we going?
We're heading for Applecross.  It's probably one of the most beautiful places in the UK.  Beinn Bhan is one of my favourite mountains.  The pub at Applecross is superb.  The awesome views across to Skye. The variety of beaches.  Stunning wildlife.  Just around the corner to Torridon and then Loch Maree in one direction or Loch Carron and then Plockton in the other direction.
  

We are planning a week of chilling out.  Playing on the beaches (regardless of weather).  Bike rides.  Cafes.  Views.  Wildlife spotting.  Camp cooking.

Aaahhhhh.  I'm relaxing just thinking about it.

Visual weekly calendar

Sometimes, with two small children, we don't get the chance to dig out the diary and see what we're supposed to be doing that day.
Sometimes, the week can fly by and you realise that it's gone past without you getting around to any of the things you wanted to do with your children.
As the children get older, you want them to have some idea of the plan for the next few days, and even to have some ownership of it. 
You don't necessarily want to over-plan, so a detailed "timetable" might not suit you... too many things with too much structure just makes you feel bad when you don't get around to any of them, and that's sure to happen with a baby in the picture.

So I came up with this system.  It's a weekly calendar, laminated to allow things to be stuck on, and with lots of visual cards for different activities.  The calendar is simply divided into morning and afternoon, with a third slot for evening/other info.  Naps and meals aren't included, they happen every day at pretty much the same time so don't need to be.  The idea is that one (sometimes two) activities are scheduled into each slot.  Some of these activities are externally constrained, such as "Toddler Group" or "Swimming" which we do with friends.  Others have to slot in - if either parent is out in the evening, then a dog walk needs to fit in the afternoon (if we're both home then I take her out in the evening).  Shopping has to happen once a week.  A trip to the library needs to fit in before the books are due.  Meetings and appointments need to fit in from my diary.  I sit down on a Sunday evening, preferably with Little C before he goes to bed, and fit all the activities into their slots, and then we work out what other activities to fill the remaining slots with (painting, baking etc.).  With his new Sticker Chart for pleases and thank-yous, his reward will be to choose an activity for the following day, so I'll need to leave a space blank for him.  
I love it.  The calendar is stuck on the fridge, where it reminds me every time I pass of what we are supposed to be doing at any given time.  Because we only have one activity scheduled for each slot it allows plenty of flexibility and free playing time around the activity too.

Ps and Qs

My toddler is driving me bananas with his absolute refusal to say please and thank-you!  

I don't know what's causing it.  For ages when he was first learning to talk he was quite happy to say please, and  because I always responded with "Good boy" it mutated to "pleaseboy".  We haven't even heard that for a good while now.  I always model pleases and thank-yous, and when he asks for something I say "please mummy" to demonstrate what's missing, and "thank-you mummy" when I give him something.  When I ask "How do you ask nicely?" he just either smiles coyly or makes a pained moaning  noise.


I think it's a control thing for him.  It's something he can withold that he knows we want. 


After a bit of a stressful week trying to enforce it after our return from holiday in June, which resulted in lots of crying and screaming (because he would be put in time out, or go to bed with no story), I wondered whether maybe my expectations were out of kilter with his being a toddler.  I decided to just let it go for a bit, keep modelling what I want him to say, and hope that he just starts spontaneously.

However, in the last few weeks we've been in contact with two little girls.  Their vocabulary is nowhere near as broad as Little C's.  They say please and thank-you willingly.  So as far as I see it, there's no reason in the world why he can't say it too.


We went back in with the "time out" and not giving him what he wanted unless he said please.  Result - more tears, screaming and stress.  We've also gone with the "Your cousin D...... says Please.  If you want to be a lovely boy like D......, then you need to say please as well."  It's just not happening.  So the way I see it, if I want him to use please and thank-you I have three options:

1. continue modelling desired behaviour, praise it if and when it occurs and hope that it just starts one day soon
2. persevere with the time-outs, screaming, stress etc. and do so consistently so that he knows this is not optional
3. Stop using the "stick" approach and try with a "carrot" instead, going with the dreaded STICKER CHART.

I'm going with option 3.  I don't think the way to promote good manners is to punish when they don't happen, and I'm not sure how I fell into the trap of doing that.  When we return from our camping trip I'll have a laminated sticker card and some reward stickers.  Every time he says please or thank-you in an appropriate context, then he gets a sticker on the card.  At dinner time, if he has at least ten stickers on his card, then he gets to transfer them to his sticker book, and choose a fun activity for the next day to put up on  to our weekly planner (I'll post about my weekly planner tomorrow).  The activities will all be things we do anyway, like: Go to play-park; play on bike; Go to library; lunch in a cafe; messy play; noisy play; water play; but the point being that he gets to choose for the next day.  

My only doubt is once you start a sticker chart, how do you wean them back off it, so that they do the desired behaviour without need for a reward?   

Digging for treasure

Little C have had an adventure in the garden this morning...

...we went digging for treasure!


And look what we found!

Loads of treasure!

My potato planting method is very simple.  I just take any potatoes from the pantry that have started to grow, put them in the appropriate raised bed in a shallow-ish hole and leave them.  The potato plants grow, then the tops die back.  When I get around to it I go digging to see what I've got.

My skills in potato storage are even more limited, so I've just boiled a pan full to mash and then freeze.  Other than that they'll just go in the pantry and I'll hope for the best I think!   

Podding peas:

So, as I try to grow a few veggies, and want my children to know about food and where it comes from, Little C and I have been out in the garden gathering harvest.  

The latest selection included a good bowl full of peas, several courgettes, some baby carrots and a few raspberries.  Afterwards I taught Little C to pod peas.  

It took a long time, and these photos don't do justice to the concentration on his little face, but he loved it.