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Saturday 5 March 2011

Feeling very happy

I feel a very lucky lady just now.


Yes, I've had a bit of the baby-blues.  Yes, I'm tired.  Yes, I'm aware that projects that I mean to get done, and housework, and cooking and all those things are taking a back seat just now and just not getting done...


But... 


...I look at my little boy, who is so clever, and so affectionate and loving, and sociable.  He feels a bit insecure at the moment.  He wants to "see mummy" (imagine the plaintive voice) and to know where I am.  Sometimes, especially when baby is asleep, he wants to cuddle up to mummy for as long as possible.  Other times, it isn't me that he wants to cuddle at all, it's baby, and he rests his head on her or squeezes on to her and I try to respond with positive "oh that's right, she likes it when you're very gentle" and restrain myself from the squealed "Careful!  You're squashing her!"  He's had Nana and Grandad here for a few days, and then Auntie Janet, and in the few short months since he last saw them, he's become much more sociable and ready to play and read, and he knows and uses their names...


...I look at my little girl.  She's not even two weeks old yet, and her due date isn't until Tuesday, yet she's an absolute joy already.  I know it's almost certainly wind, but I've had some cheeky smiles from her, especially when she's filled a nappy only minutes after I've changed it.  She snuggles up to me with such contentment, and nestles into the sling so comfortably.  She loves to be held, she loves her milk, she smells so good... 


...I look at my husband.  He would never agree to this, and will shake his head if he reads this blog post, but he looks after me.  He's a great daddy.  He's thoughtful and kind and clever and generous...


...I look at my dog.  The waggy tailed one.  She is gorgeous.  She is affectionate, patient (except where going out for walks is concerned), brilliant with Little C, smily, and great company...


...Friends and neighbours who are so kind and generous.  We have received gifts for new baby from neighbours who we know by sight (but don't know their names - for which I feel terribly guilty - I really should take more interest in the people around me and be kinder and more thoughtful towards them), from colleagues and ex-colleagues, from friends and acquaintances.  I would like to be as generous as these people are to us...


... Really, I'm a very lucky and happy lady.  I must have done something right somewhere to have this life.  I'll stop being smooshy and sentimental now, and get back to the business in hand, which is to have an early night and get some sleep so that I can cope with the night feeds later.

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