A Helping Hand

A Helping Hand

Still in draft form just now.  My Writing Circle prompt this month was "A helping hand" and this is what has come into my head.  We've missed two monthly Writing Circle meetings so far in lockdown and I am delighted that we are having a Zoom meeting this Friday.

picture from Macy's website

A helping hand

As Alice stood, she felt the boat wobble beneath her.  It had been a wonderful trip out for a picnic on the island in the bay.  She steadied herself, grasping her parasol firmly and lifting her skirts with her other hand.  The sea shone into the distance, dancing with sunlight.  The boat-hand who had rowed them across  stood confidently with one foot on the polished side of the boat and the other on the rough and faded beams of the pontoon.  He was holding out a hand to her.  It was rough and calloused.  She brushed past it rudely and stepped up on to the side of the boat.  It lurched ridiculously and she nearly fell but caught her weight with her parasol on the pontoon and quickly stepped across, a flush filling her dainty features.  She quickly mounted the steps and once on the stone wharf looked back down to watch the others stepping from the boat.  She smiled as she saw that Lady Everleigh needed two men to keep her steady while another subtly moved to the other side of the boat to counterbalance her kind and bustling bulk.  Mr Barclay and Mr Morton stepped easily across.  Simpering Miss Perry was frightened and held tightly to the hand that was offered.  Eliza’s eye wandered to the boat-hand.  He intrigued her.  His tanned face perfectly set off those deep brown eyes and his ready smile seemed so natural, so unforced when compared to the company on the boat with their formal niceties.

In the tearoom, the gentle clink of bone china rattled rather than soothed her.  The tea was hot, the cakes to dry and the inane wittering of Miss Perry and Mr Morton was driving her to distraction.  She stood,

“Please excuse me.  I’m just going to take a walk along the wharf.”  They nodded acknowledgement and she was glad nobody proposed to join her.  

On the wharf she watched fishermen arranging their creels, the smell of fish assailing her nostrils from this distance.  The tide was going out and the noxious seaweed detracted from the sun-sparkled sea.  She roamed up one of the steep, narrow lanes, small fishing cottages tightly packed on each side, storerooms below and steps up to front doors.  Small children in faded poplin sat on the steps and gazed at her.  She smiled reassuringly at them, but they scampered up and into the house to peer out around the door after she had passed.  She wandered still further, choosing to continue up the hill or to take a flatter route as her energy level plateaued.  Her mind wandered, considering the options she had before her.  Lady Everleigh had assured her mother that this trip to the coast would help her get over her illness and that she would have her engaged by the time she returned to Hertford.  Alice was perfectly aware of Mr Barclay’s attentions, and Lady Everleigh’s intentions for the pair, and he was certainly an eligible partner – not bereft of sense or manners.  What was the issue then?  She sighed.  It was… just… there was no common understanding or affection…

A noise behind her startled her out of her reverie and she realised that she had strayed into an unkempt narrow street.  The whitewash on these cottages was closer to grey and there were no children.  Just three men, staring at her with hostile eyes.  They were slowly stepping closer.  Alice looked around behind her but there was nowhere to go.  An air of menace permeated the air.  Alice could hardly breathe, her eyes wide and frightened.  Suddenly, they were on her, pushing her up against a wall and pawing at her clothing, pulling laces undone.  At last she found her voice and screamed, before a dirty hand covered her mouth and she was pushed to the floor.

A roar of rage filled the air and the hands holding her down were loosened as a newcomer started hauling the men from her.  They turned to fight but soon scattered at his determined assault.  Alice didn’t dare breathe, just attempted to cover herself with her torn clothes.  A rough and calloused hand was held out to help her up.  She followed the arm up to the deep brown eyes, full of concern and recognised the boat-hand.  She took the hand this time, and he helped her to her feet and wrapped her in his woollen coat.

“Can I take you to my sister’s to get cleaned up, Ma’am?”

“Please, call me Alice.  Thank-you, that would be lovely.”  He continued to support her as they walked along, and before long they were chatting like old friends.

Life in Lockdown

At the time of writing this blog post, it’s been more than a month since the UK government announced a nationwide lockdown due to the coronavirus pandemic. Schools, pubs, restaurants, gyms, and “non-essential” businesses are closed, and we have been told to stay at home and only leave the house if we can’t avoid it, for example, to go food shopping.

I spotted this post on Sam's blog Griffblog. It’s part of a “link up” (or “linky”) where bloggers answer the same questions and link up their posts. The idea is to share your thoughts, feelings, and ideas on how to get through the coming weeks.

I thought it was a really good idea, and I’m sure in a few years I’ll find it interesting to read this post back and reflect on this strange time. Since I’ve missed the first few weeks I’m going to base my answers on the past 30 days rather than the past 7.

1) How are you feeling/coping?

Pretty well most of the time.  I'm quite sociable and like the freedom and independence to get the things I need, go for a long walk and so on.  However, I've not found being stuck in the house nearly as hard as I thought it would.  I've been having plenty of contact with people through social media, on the phone etc. and I'm not lonely at all - given that I have Mr Build-it and Miss Busy imprisoned with me and Mr Fix-it comes home from key-working every evening (via the shower).  The thing that frustrates me is knowing that the government scientists aren't actually sure about who really is "extremely vulnerable" (I'm on that list and have to stay in for at least 12 weeks) and who isn't.  I don't feel any more vulnerable than the next person and it frustrates me that I can't go and help my colleagues at work, or that more than likely I'm going to have to continue to work from home even when the schools reopen (I'm a primary school teacher).  Mr Fix-it is encouraging me to go out and get a walk (for some space aawy from the kids) but I don't feel I can.  It's not fair to my boss or colleagues if on one hand I'm telling them I have to stay home and "shield" and yet on the other hand am out for a jolly.  So I'm just keeping extremely busy and biding my time, hoping that as many of us as possible get through this in one piece.

2) What are you doing to keep yourself occupied?

I'm working from home as a Primary School Teacher.  This involves making sure we have prepared work for the children to access from home, communicating with families, and also ensuring that all possible paperwork to do with school is up-to-date!

I'm also a volunteer with the Scouts and we are continuing as much as possible with virtual Scouting, so I'm supporting adults with their training, supporting Cubs and Beavers by posting lots of activities they can do and logging it as they work through their badges.

I've been writing more.  Quite a lot more.  I've also obviously been supporting my children with their at-home learning (and just coping - they are finding this really hard), keeping fit and setting myself challenges, reading and catching up on housework and gardening.  

3) How are you dealing with everything at the moment – are you self-isolated, going out for essentials etc?

Because I'm on immune suppressants and have chronic kidney disease and high blood pressure (caused by a form of vasculitis) I'm in the governments “extremely vulnerable” category (people they believe could become seriously ill if they contract COVID-19). I'm not supposed to go out AT ALL.  So I'm not.  Mr Fix-it has been doing all the dog-walking, grocery shopping etc. in addition to going to work every day.  Don't tell him, but I think he's a bit of a hero.

4) What advice do you have for others?

I personally think the best way is to keep busy.  Being productive and useful makes you feel good.  Having said that, if you are feeling down and need to have a day off to lie on the sofa and feel sorry for yourself, that's absolutely okay too.  Miss Busy is eternally busy (hence the name) but Thursday afternoon and Friday she just wasn't feeling herself so I totally gave her licence to have a sofa day yesterday and not do her school work.  Today, she's back on form.

5) What have you bought this week that others might like? Especially if from a small business.

I haven't bought anything this week.  I'm trying to manage with as little buying as possible since I'm worried about all these busy delivery peeps.  If I do buy something I'm going to try to source it from an independent if possible rather than "globecorp" aka Amazon.

6) How has your routine been this week? (Question by Don’t Cramp My Style)

Fortunately, because Mr Fix-It is going to work every morning, I am getting up at a sensible 7am.  The children are up by 8am and we are all settled down to work by 9am at the latest.  I tend to work through most of the day, with Wednesday off, apart from a break for an hour for lunch and an hour's break at about 3 in the afternoon to do my exercise DVD.  I stop at about 5pm and do a bit of housework before cooking the dinner. 

7) Have you planned anything for once lockdown is over? (Question by Don’t Cramp My Style)

No.  Mainly because I don't know when that will be.  It's difficult to plan anything really with no end point in sight.  We've cancelled one holiday this Easter and will almost certainly not go on the planned holiday for the Summer (waiting until lockdown extension is confirmed so we don't have to pay cancellation fees on the ferry!).  We'd like to go exploring in Cornwall again, would like to take a trip to Applecross, though this may not be until next Spring.  I've also got two training courses to run this Autumn and would definitely like to get a Scout and Cub camp and at least a couple of Scout Group Activity days in the diary in the autumn... plus we'll definitely want to go and visit both sets of parents, and sisters and sister-in-law.  It's going to be a busy Autumn!

Thank you to Sarah (lifeinabreakdown.com) and Bex for coming up with this linky. If you’re a blogger and you’d like to answer these questions yourself then I’ll share them again below so you can copy + paste.

1) How are you feeling/coping?
2) What are you doing to keep yourself occupied?
3) How are you dealing with everything at the moment – are you self-isolated, going out for essentials, etc? Has this changed?
4) What advice do you have for others?
5) What have you bought this week that others might like? Especially if from a small business.
6) How has your routine been this week? (Question by Don’t Cramp My Style)
7) Have you planned anything for once lockdown is over in the past 7 days? (Question by Don’t Cramp My Style)
8) Anything else? 

Badge blankets - what are they and how do you make them?

I go by many names - but one that many young people know me by is Akela.
I've been involved in Scouts since I joined age 15 and have had all sorts of different volunteer roles.  For the last two years or so I've been a Cub Leader in Hereford.  Cub Leaders are known as Akela - like the chief wolf in the Jungle Book.

One thing that I've had that is a bit of a record of my Scouting journey is my badge blanket, sometimes called a camp or campfire blanket.  Since 1995 I have kept this blanket and gradually added to it.  I recently made a video explaining all about badge blankets.  In the video I didn't recount a funny story about how I started my blanket though:

We (the 5th Exmouth Venture Scouts) were going on a white water kayaking trip to the French Alps.  I had already cut my poncho shape and started my blanket stitching around the edge before heading off on the minibus.  By the time we got to the ferry at Portsmouth I had started stitching my lettering and walked up to the passenger area proudly sporting a blanket that said "Mel's Big"... hmmm.....  I continued sewing on the ferry but the result as I walked back down to the bus wasn't much improvement... "Mel's Big Blank"  I absolutely didn't care - I guess I have always been somewhat... individual.

Lockdown Targets

As lock-down here in the UK are extended by a further three weeks, I wonder what kind of lock-downer you are?  Are you a planner, with goals, targets and lists?  Are you a plate-spinner, trying to keep all those plates spinning but never sure where the next one will come from?  Or are you a drifter, not worrying too much and taking each day as it comes?

I don't think anybody who knows me will be surprised to find that I'm a planner.  I have a very love-hate relationship with lists.  There have been times when my lists have got out of control - if there's too much on there and I don't feel I'm getting things done it can make me feel anxious and despondent.  On the other end, if I see that I am making good progress through my lists then I can feel very good about myself.  I have tried to live without lists (I always ditch them when I'm away on holiday) but I can't keep it up for long.  I always end up wondering what I'm missing, what I'm forgetting to do... and I start writing things down so I don't forget... and before you know it I've got a list again.

So of course I have a plan for lock-down.  I would hate to come out feeling that I've wasted the potential of these twelve weeks.  Of course, as I've posted previously, I'm putting my own and my family's happiness as top priority.  I am also still being paid my (part time) salary to work from home.  That doesn't mean I can't have other targets too.  I won't go into detail here but here are some headlines.  I'd love to know what your aims are while you are at home.

• school work
• reviewing MFL provision at school
• supporting and planning for my Beavers and Cubs.
• planning adult training for Hereford and Worcester for Autumn and 2021
• supporting the training, validation and compliance of adult volunteers in the County.
• creative writing
• build up freelance writing
• tame garden
• finish decorating a few rooms in the house that have been started
• come out a few kg lighter and a lot fitter
• catch up with some of my craft projects

How not to win at Monopoly - one of the mysteries of parenting

"Will you play Monopoly with us Mummy?"
"Yep, give me a minute and I'll be there,"  I was thinking this would be some good quality family time.  Only now, four hours later, with two of the family in tears and the other feeling very guilty, do I remember that Monopoly is the other name for the God of Family Strife.

Image from wikipedia

The problem is that I like Monopoly.  I have a good strategy.  And I won.

Both children finished in their bedrooms upset.  Hubby suggested that maybe I should start letting them win - not sure how to be honest, maybe next time I don't buy any houses?  So now they are sad (though both determined to win next time) and I feel guilty.

Why do we buy this game?  Surely it rates higher than washing up and Christmas on the list of things that cause family rows...

What's your board game of choice?

Creative makes - a child's art case

I thought I'd share my latest make.  It was my littlest nephew's 5th birthday yesterday.  I had already bought him a couple of bits but wanted to make him a little something too.  I don't see him all that often (and when I do he rarely speaks to me), so I asked my sister what he's into at the moment.  The answer came back: Star Wars and the Avengers, games and puzzles, and books.

The first thing I did was search for some Avenger fabric.

Once that arrived, I decided what to make, found some plain fabric to pair with the Avengers, and made myself a pattern.

Then I got stitching.  I did it in two halves so that when carried, the Avengers stay the right way up on both sides.  First I hemmed the pockets, then stitched them onto the plain fabric.  Next, I sewed the edges of both fabrics together on three sides, inside out.  I then turned them the correct way and top-stitched.

The next step was to cut some cardboard to size for the inside.  This is to make the case firm, so he can lean on it when out and about.  I used a pizza box from the recycling.

Finally, I made a handle and then stitched it in place as I sewed the two halves together.  This was the trickiest part as there wasn't much leeway on the fabric around the cardboard and I also wanted to do it neatly, without leaving any raw edges.  I then slotted in some paper, pencils and the notepad I had already bought, made a birthday card to go with it and popped it in a parcel ready to post.

P.S.  Sadly, I don't think popping a parcel to the post-office counts as an "essential journey" so I haven't yet dispatched the children to the post office for me.  The parcel is still sitting on my desk and waiting for the Covid storm to break before it goes in the mail.  On the positive side, this means that littlest nephew will get an extended birthday as the gifts will be rolling in at some point through the Spring and Summer! 

Why it's okay NOT to do Joe Wicks

No offence meant to Joe Wicks here.  I've done a couple of his workouts and the man is a legend.  The internet is bursting at the seams with activities that you can plug into or do at home at the moment.  There is so much choice out there.  The issue is that so many of us are trying to work from home and educate from home as well as just existing.  All these activities are a good source of inspiration for parents who are used to out-sourcing their children - gym classes, Cubs, swimming lessons, boxing and so on.  However, it does leave you with a vague sense that if you aren't doing Joe Wicks every morning, followed by online art lessons, online Steve Backshall, online Scout activities and online education, as well as downloading all the free resources being offered by the BBC, Twinkl and every other portal on the interweb, then you are somehow failing your children.

I'm here to tell you that this is not so.  

What is important is maintaining sanity and love within your family.  

In a time full of financial and health anxiety, in a time when people are concerned about their jobs and their family and friends, in a time when we are facing an unprecedented global pandemic, that's when we are all confined to our homes and cut off from friends and from the outdoors.  A walk alone in the woods is my choice of activity to re-balance and to restore my sense of self and optimism.  We normally have a healthy mix of society and solitude in our lives.  Time to think and time to talk.  At the moment we have some people forced into solitude, while others are denied it.  It's hard for our children too: used to the routine and society of school, time and space to run and jump, laugh hysterically at the daftest things, feel proud of themselves when they get the right answer or seek solace with friends if they don't.  Now they're stuck at home with only a limited understanding of why. 

I'll be honest.  I'm finding this hard.  I'm supposed to be self-isolated for another ten weeks.  I want to do a good job for the families I'm supporting as a teacher and as a Scout volunteer; I want to get the house and garden looking good; I want to build up my writing again; I want to get fit... all during this period of isolation.  What I'm learning though, is that looking after myself and my family is going to have to take priority here.  In the last few days I've had a deep sense of anxiety, unease and disquiet.  I have been irritable and tearful.  Miss Busy, who is very nine: noisy, messy and emotional, is finding the lock-down overwhelming and needing her mummy.  My husband, when he gets home from a busy and tense day as a hospital doctor, needs a lot of support too - for him, planning for the future helps him deal with the present.  

So I'm remembering that I need to prioritise cuddling with a film over replying to e-mails;  Playing a board game with the children over cleaning the floor;  While my to-do list doesn't get any shorter, reaffirming connections within the family, building our strength in this time of uncertainty, seems the more important task.  When this is over, like the flowers that grow back more vigorously after they've been cut back, we will be ready to bloom vibrantly.  When we look back, we'll think of 2020 as the year that made us.

So don't feel that you have to be busy all the time.  Don't feel that you need to keep up with all the activities and resources.  Don't worry about fancy-schmancy specially-created internet resources and lessons.

Do your best to keep up with the things that you have to do for your work and your children's education (don't worry too much about this - they are remarkable at learning when nobody is teaching them, and will also soon fill in the gaps when they get back to school).  Mostly though, it's okay to do the simple things, to spend time just being, and just connecting with your children.

Here are a few things you can do as a family: 

1) play with the kids - get the Lego or the doll house out and get down there and play with the children.

2) Do the housework together.  This one may be a harder sell for older kids, but I taught Mr Build-it to iron shirts yesterday (we had to submit a video for his Scout Skills Challenge), you're teaching them valuable life skills, and its definitely more fun when you do it together - and that's a life-lesson in itself.

3) Play silly games like charades and hide-and-seek.  A daft friend posted a video of herself playing noughts-and-crosses with her dog.  (ask and I'll tell you how - very amusing!)

5) Rediscover peaceful crafts that you can just sit and do together - drawing, painting, rock painting, crochet, knitting and sewing.  Or if those don't appeal - how about wood-work or creating miniature models for Warhammer or a model railway.  These things take time and lets face it, we're not going anywhere in a hurry, and you get the satisfaction of creating something.

6) Bake and cook together.  Explore those cook books and come up with some recipes that you can make.  (Forward planning is useful here as given the shopping limitations for most of us at the moment.)

Most of all, try to relax.  Don't try to do too much.  Press the "Reset System" button on your life.

If grannies wore knickers...

If Grannies wore knickers, would they look like these?

Just an opportunity to show off my latest craft project really.

Several years ago my amazing big sister sent me a link to this pattern http://www.sfmgs.co.uk/2016/09/granny-square-crochet-shorts-free-pattern.html, and suggested that I might make her some at some point.  (She blogs at http://www.seasidebelle.com/)

It takes me a while.  I got around to it eventually.  My other crochet project has reached a fiddly hiatus and needs some concerted effort to continue, so granny squares seemed like a great idea.  I dutifully followed the pattern given on the link above.  In fact, I was pretty excited and thought I'd almost finished.  Then I tried them on.  There is something wrong with the pattern.  By following the pattern you get just the bottom half of the shorts shown above.  To call them hipsters is being very ungenerous to hipsters.  I know I have a largish bottom, but these didn't even come halfway up the cheeks!  So I made another four squares and built an extension!

 I tried them on for size and was suitably happy.  My sister's bottom is considerably smaller than mine, so if they could stretch around me, they would be fine for her.  I don't often wear holey clothing, I'll be honest, but mum assured me that "if anyone could carry off an item of clothing like that, Jo can."  It's true - photos on her Facebook include her dressed as: Betty Boop, the fairy on the Christmas Tree, a Greek goddess and Scary Spice.  However, apparently her child #3 has put his foot down and suggested that she needs to line them as it's not right for her to wear shorts where people can see her pants!  

I feel reasonably sure that she will defy him and that these shorts will get at least one outing, and that she will carry them off with style nothing like a granny!

A dog's eye view of lockdown

Hello.  I'm called Blossom.  I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there's something going on around here.

For some reason, the humans are staying in the den and not going out on patrol.

My soft place in the den.  They call it my "BED"

 In normal times, they get up in the morning and we go on our first patrol then its time for breakfast.
After that they go on patrol to other places.  Daddy goes on "HOSPITAL" patrol and Mummy and the small ones go to "SCHOOL" patrol.  They call it "WORK".  I am on guard duty at the den.  Fay comes at lunchtime and takes me on fun patrol with all my dog friends.  Later everybody comes home and we have a lovely evening together with the pack, though sometimes they go out to another patrol which they call "SCOUTS". 

This is my Mummy.  I love her.

 For the last ten days though, Mummy has only left the Den twice, and not at all in the last week!  I don't know what's going on but I really love it!  Daddy is taking me on patrol in the morning, and then he's out at Hospital Patrol all day, but Mummy and the Small Ones stay in the den with me!  A couple of times the Small Ones have taken me for a quick patrol to the field but I don't understand.  I want to run and bounce with the other dogs but they keep me on the "LEAD".  At least I'm out and about a bit though so I can keep an eye on everything.

This is my "sun place".  I sit here to keep an eye out for any cats or squirrels who come near my den.  Also it's lovely in the sun.  I sometimes fall asleep a bit.

 So what has this meant for me?  A LOT of cuddles!  I get to have a cuddle with Mummy whenever I want to!  I bring her my toy or I nudge her with my nose or my paw.  This is my way of signalling to mummy that she is spending too much time on the "COMPUTER" (she thinks she is still on patrol, but hasn't worked out that she's still in the den).  After that, she invites me onto her lap and I nudge her until she's stroking or tickling just the right bit.

This is my favourite toy at the moment.  I usually destroy toys but this one is proving quite tough.

me looking thoughtful.  I'm actually distracted by a cloud.  Nobody needs to know that though.

Thoughts on Home working and what we're all doing in the shut-down.

I posted yesterday about Home Learning and how to support the children during this shut-down.

In the meantime, what have I been doing?  As a teacher I am technically a key worker but my underlying kidney disease, vasculitis and immune suppression mean that I am classed as "extremely vulnerable".  I have been home-working since last Wednesday, and as of Monday evening am on the list of people who are not supposed to leave the house for 12 weeks.  

 Each morning I have started with my home-working teaching tasks while the children have been busy with their work.  This involves working with my Year 2 colleagues to compile appropriate work for the children to do from home in each of the subject areas.  As parents email the work in, we note it, respond, post something on the school twitter-feed, post the answers for the parents to be able to mark their work and generally follow up.  We're also taking the opportunity to catch up on paperwork and planning across the school.

After I've done this, I move on to virtual Scouting.  I'm running a Cub Pack and a Beaver Colony so I'm regularly posting activities or badge work that children can be getting on with at home.  I'm looking forward to running a virtual meeting on a video-call platform too so they all get to see one another.  We'll probably have a go at that next week.  

In my County Scout role I'm rearranging adult training modules so that people can pick up on them after the shut-down, but also supporting people to use this opportunity while they are at home to do some e-learning and get their training validated.

Once I've done this I move on to writing.  I'm trying to warm-up my skills a bit by entering writing competitions.  I know that I'm unlikely to win any prizes but the discipline of a deadline and trying out writing in different genres is quite refreshing.  I've entered a Travel Writing one so far, and am now working on an entry for a humorous poetry competition.  Also the fact that I'm stuck indoors, I can stretch my wings a bit here on my blog.

Each day I'm also making sure that I get some exercise.  I've returned to my old favourite Claire Sweeney Slimming World DVD but also had a go at Joe Wicks does PE this morning with the children.  I'm attempting to tame a mature and somewhat wild garden, starting with a patch that Miss Busy has asked to adopt.  Also, the house hasn't been so clean since just after we moved in.  We do have some decorating to do but, while the sun is shining, the garden gets priority.

Plus, of course, spending time with my children.  Making sure that they are getting some of their schoolwork done and not spending all day in front of a screen.  Making sure that they are okay.

What are you all doing during this shut-down?  What does your day look like?