When life gets busy...

 It turns out, that I'm not such a writer after all.

While my dream remains to be a published author and write for a living, it turns out that when life gets busy and time is short, the two things on my "to do" list that I drop first are exercise and writing.  

As a result, I've still not got a book or online course finished to a good enough standard for publication, and I'm still a larger dress-size than I'd like.

My top priority is my family:  

Mr Build-it is motoring through Year 7.  He's still got plenty of time for cuddles with his mum, but kisses are already off limits.  He spends a lot of time in his room learning how to programme and is developing and building websites and online games and learning different programming languages.  I try to keep up, and always show an interest, but quite often he is speaking a completely different language.  He appears downstairs whenever he is hungry.  My main task with him is encouraging him to get some daylight and fresh air on a daily basis, though that's got easier as he's discovered that some of his schoolfriends like to meet up at the playpark up the road so he takes himself up there to meet them.

Miss Busy is at that very delicate age where she has subconsciously realised that she's growing up fast, but is not yet ready, and is clinging to childhood.  This means that she's watching terrible kids' TV, and is requiring a lot of parental attention.  I'm also aware that in a very short time she won't be wanting to spend so much time with me - her friends will become more of a priority.  So when she asks me to do something with her, I'm tending to say "yes."  We had a lovely time drawing butterflies together the other day, and, dare I say it, we had fun tidying her bedroom together yesterday.  She's also super-helpful at the moment, and always willing to lend a hand in the kitchen, take the dog out for a walk or hang the laundry - long may it last!

Husband is, as always, very busy with work.  He's also got a lot to do with our Scout Group.  He became Group Scout Leader a year ago and, never one to do a half-job, is determined to have our Group be the best in the District - an example of "how it works".  He's putting in a lot of hours and it's really beginning to show fruit.  Our Group is a happy place to be.

I've recently gone back to the classroom once more.  I'm teaching a lovely Year 5 class who need a great deal of teacher love.  I'm determined to do a good job for these children, so I'm pouring in the effort and the hours of preparation that they deserve.

In the meantime, with Covid19 (fingers crossed) finally receding in threat, we are back face-to-face with our Beavers and Cubs.  After a long break it's taking us a little while to get back in the flow, and I'm also bringing in a lot of new children, and trying hard to get a few more volunteers into the mix.  My County role has had to take a bit of a back seat while this is happening, but I am also still delivering regular adult training courses and attending meetings.

So... with family, school and Scouting all taking a lot of time and energy, and the continuous cycle of groceries, shopping, laundry, school run and dog walks... that hasn't really left a lot of time for writing or crafting (or exercise).  So that's where I am right now.  I'll come back to you next time with an update on how I'm getting along with those craft plans and New Year resolutions.  

Quick crafty ideas - Harry Potter Party bags

Fabulous daughter is turning 10 this weekend.  For her lockdown birthday, she is having an online party with three friends, using Zoom to do a virtual escape room together.

She is very keen on Harry Potter, so I've put together a party bag for each child, which I'll be dropping off at their homes on my daily exercise on Friday.

I had some plain white paper bags, like this:

They struck me as a bit boring, and as many of you will know.  I don't do boring if I can avoid it.  So I followed the instructions on the brilliant...

Drawinghowtodraw.com

on this page:

I drew them in pencil first, then painted with water colours and finally went over all the lines with a black fine-liner.

Here are the resulting party bags:

I'm so proud of them.  Do you like?

In each party bag, I'm putting:

 a wooden door plaque

Some Harry Potter badges

Some Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans

They will also get some snacks to eat while playing the escape room, and a Chocolate Cupcake (still to be made) with a Harry Potter cake-topper.

Please note - this post does contain some affiliate links.  That means that if you follow my links to buy the products on Amazon, I get a small commission.  It doesn't affect the price you pay at all.

How not to win at Monopoly - one of the mysteries of parenting

"Will you play Monopoly with us Mummy?"
"Yep, give me a minute and I'll be there,"  I was thinking this would be some good quality family time.  Only now, four hours later, with two of the family in tears and the other feeling very guilty, do I remember that Monopoly is the other name for the God of Family Strife.

Image from wikipedia

The problem is that I like Monopoly.  I have a good strategy.  And I won.

Both children finished in their bedrooms upset.  Hubby suggested that maybe I should start letting them win - not sure how to be honest, maybe next time I don't buy any houses?  So now they are sad (though both determined to win next time) and I feel guilty.

Why do we buy this game?  Surely it rates higher than washing up and Christmas on the list of things that cause family rows...

What's your board game of choice?

Why it's okay NOT to do Joe Wicks

No offence meant to Joe Wicks here.  I've done a couple of his workouts and the man is a legend.  The internet is bursting at the seams with activities that you can plug into or do at home at the moment.  There is so much choice out there.  The issue is that so many of us are trying to work from home and educate from home as well as just existing.  All these activities are a good source of inspiration for parents who are used to out-sourcing their children - gym classes, Cubs, swimming lessons, boxing and so on.  However, it does leave you with a vague sense that if you aren't doing Joe Wicks every morning, followed by online art lessons, online Steve Backshall, online Scout activities and online education, as well as downloading all the free resources being offered by the BBC, Twinkl and every other portal on the interweb, then you are somehow failing your children.

I'm here to tell you that this is not so.  

What is important is maintaining sanity and love within your family.  

In a time full of financial and health anxiety, in a time when people are concerned about their jobs and their family and friends, in a time when we are facing an unprecedented global pandemic, that's when we are all confined to our homes and cut off from friends and from the outdoors.  A walk alone in the woods is my choice of activity to re-balance and to restore my sense of self and optimism.  We normally have a healthy mix of society and solitude in our lives.  Time to think and time to talk.  At the moment we have some people forced into solitude, while others are denied it.  It's hard for our children too: used to the routine and society of school, time and space to run and jump, laugh hysterically at the daftest things, feel proud of themselves when they get the right answer or seek solace with friends if they don't.  Now they're stuck at home with only a limited understanding of why. 

I'll be honest.  I'm finding this hard.  I'm supposed to be self-isolated for another ten weeks.  I want to do a good job for the families I'm supporting as a teacher and as a Scout volunteer; I want to get the house and garden looking good; I want to build up my writing again; I want to get fit... all during this period of isolation.  What I'm learning though, is that looking after myself and my family is going to have to take priority here.  In the last few days I've had a deep sense of anxiety, unease and disquiet.  I have been irritable and tearful.  Miss Busy, who is very nine: noisy, messy and emotional, is finding the lock-down overwhelming and needing her mummy.  My husband, when he gets home from a busy and tense day as a hospital doctor, needs a lot of support too - for him, planning for the future helps him deal with the present.  

So I'm remembering that I need to prioritise cuddling with a film over replying to e-mails;  Playing a board game with the children over cleaning the floor;  While my to-do list doesn't get any shorter, reaffirming connections within the family, building our strength in this time of uncertainty, seems the more important task.  When this is over, like the flowers that grow back more vigorously after they've been cut back, we will be ready to bloom vibrantly.  When we look back, we'll think of 2020 as the year that made us.

So don't feel that you have to be busy all the time.  Don't feel that you need to keep up with all the activities and resources.  Don't worry about fancy-schmancy specially-created internet resources and lessons.

Do your best to keep up with the things that you have to do for your work and your children's education (don't worry too much about this - they are remarkable at learning when nobody is teaching them, and will also soon fill in the gaps when they get back to school).  Mostly though, it's okay to do the simple things, to spend time just being, and just connecting with your children.

Here are a few things you can do as a family: 

1) play with the kids - get the Lego or the doll house out and get down there and play with the children.

2) Do the housework together.  This one may be a harder sell for older kids, but I taught Mr Build-it to iron shirts yesterday (we had to submit a video for his Scout Skills Challenge), you're teaching them valuable life skills, and its definitely more fun when you do it together - and that's a life-lesson in itself.

3) Play silly games like charades and hide-and-seek.  A daft friend posted a video of herself playing noughts-and-crosses with her dog.  (ask and I'll tell you how - very amusing!)

5) Rediscover peaceful crafts that you can just sit and do together - drawing, painting, rock painting, crochet, knitting and sewing.  Or if those don't appeal - how about wood-work or creating miniature models for Warhammer or a model railway.  These things take time and lets face it, we're not going anywhere in a hurry, and you get the satisfaction of creating something.

6) Bake and cook together.  Explore those cook books and come up with some recipes that you can make.  (Forward planning is useful here as given the shopping limitations for most of us at the moment.)

Most of all, try to relax.  Don't try to do too much.  Press the "Reset System" button on your life.

Thoughts on "Home-learning"

Schools are closed and many of us are cooped up in our homes with our children.

Miss Busy doing yoga as set by her teacher

That's no bad thing.  We all lead over-busy lives, racing around from activity to activity.  While nobody wants this Coronavirus and we all wish it would go away, while nobody wants to be forced to stay indoors and not be able to work (and for many people - earn money), this time of enforced confinement may be the reset button they were looking for in their lives.  It's certainly a time for us to re-establish a connection with our children.  

Most of us leave the children's education to school.  We occasionally glance at or support homework, and we turn up at parents' evening, but we aren't really involved with their learning - that's school's job, right?  Now we are being asked to support and guide our children through all their learning tasks for a protracted amount of time.  Many schools are trying to support the parents and continue managing the task of educating by providing work each day and asking the children/parents to submit it.  As parents, how do we manage this?

First, I think it's important to remember that you are the parent and you know your child.  You have a few options here:

1) stick to the school timetable, or create your own strict timetable.  Use the school's materials or some you have provided or sourced yourselves.  You can either work with your child, ensure your child understands the task and supervise them, or rely on your child to stick to the timetable.

2) use the materials the school has provided, or materials of your own, but throw the timetable out of  the window.  Opting instead for a "as long as you get everything on the list done, you choose how long to work on it and when to do it" attitude.  This works well with children who are largely independent, but you can also encourage children to come to you for specific tasks or if they need help.

Miss Busy helped me out by trialling an activity I set for my Year 2 class.

3)  Ignore any "formal" learning materials.  Take this time to connect with your child, trust that they will fall into a natural rhythm and that they will be learning through living.  Encourage creative activities, but don't be too hung up on curriculum or formal lessons.  If you are following this option, you should let your school know your intentions.  During this time of shut-down there is nothing to stop you doing things your own way, but teachers, who are working hard to provide and follow up on set work will be concerned about you and your children if they don't hear anything.

They are also working on the 30 day lego challenge

I've personally gone for option 2.  My children are independent enough that they know how to access the work that school has set and are keen to complete it.  The main rule is that they must do these activities before they play any computer games or watch TV, but they can do them in any order and I encourage regular breaks.  We are only on day 3 but already the way they work has evolved.  To begin with, Miss Busy was trying hard to stick to normal school hours of working.  However, I noted that she was sneaking on to games on the computer in between school activities because she had finished them in less than the allotted time.  When I pointed out that she didn't need to wait until "the lesson was over" before moving on, and that she could start before 9am if she wanted to, she was liberated.  This morning she started at 7am, got all her school tasks done by 10am, played on the computer for an hour, made the lunch, and is now playing in the garden.  

Miss Busy's portrait of Henry VIII

Mr Build-it has loved the independence to work through tasks at his own pace and has very much enjoyed e-mailing his work to his teacher.  Today, however, he was traumatised by a music task which involved singing, and encouraged children to submit a video of them singing a song.  I tried to assure him that this was not compulsory and that nobody would even know if he had sung the song or not, but he felt that if school had set the task, be must complete it, even if he hates having photos taken or singing where people can hear him (despite the fact that he has a lovely singing voice and is happy to play the piano to an audience!).  There were many tears and he put off starting any of the school work for some time, to evade getting to the point where he needed to do the music.

So how to manage this process when you are also supposed to be working from home:

Steps to success:

• make sure your child has somewhere to work / concentrate / focus on whatever activities they are doing and the tools they need - sharp pencils, rubber, ruler, pens, art material, access to computer etc.
• check in with your child regularly to ensure that they know what they are doing, help them if they don't.  Depending on your child, it may be a good idea to have them working next to you as you will be able to help them focus.
• Ensure they take a break.  If they are struggling to focus, they need a change of activity, a breather or a snack.  In school they will be regularly moving from talk-partners to independent work, from carpet (whole class) to desk, snack time, assembly etc.  Up to year 3 they rarely sit still for more than about 20-30 minutes at a time.
• Once their fixed "work" is done, celebrate!  Whether this is by taking photos of the work to send to the teacher, sharing it with Gran via a video call, having an hour to play on the computer or a star on a chart.
• After this formal learning is done, make the time to spend at least an hour doing something with your children, whether this is a new hobby, gardening, housework, playing a board or computer game, reading, playing Lego, an exercise DVD or something completely different.  Spend time together and show that you value their company.

Covid19 - Time to stay at home

Since my last post, which unbelievably saw the traffic viewing my blog explode to more than 900, the government's advice has evolved rather drastically.  Like... from primordial slime to vertebrate evolution in just over a week. 

To start with, the schools were staying open for as long as possible.  The government was hoping that we would develop herd immunity without too many of our elderly or vulnerable people taking ill.  I'm not sure what changed their minds but somewhere towards the beginning of last week two terms became all important.  
Self-isolation - if you had any symptoms of the Covid19 virus at all then you should stay home from work for 14 days.
Social Distancing - if you had any underlying conditions or were older then you should keep your distance from people, working from home if possible.

Things moved very quickly at that point.  Most notable was the crazy panic buying.  Who knew that toilet roll would become such a valuable commodity?  Supermarket shelves were being emptied faster than they could be filled as everybody prepared for self-isolation or lock-down.

On Monday evening The Scouts announced that all face-to-face activity would be suspended until further notice.  Care homes closed their doors to visitors.  By Wednesday I accepted that because of underlying kidney disease and treatment with immune suppressants, I should probably stay home from work.  I wasn't alone.  The schools, which were still open at that point, began to creak.  Children with coughs were being kept home but more significantly any pregnant staff, staff with underlying health conditions, or staff exhibiting any symptoms of Covid19 were staying at home.  These home-workers began to prepare the work that would be needed for when (not "if" by this time) the schools closed and the schools struggled on with a reduced staff.  On Thursday that announcement came.  The schools would close on Friday evening except for the children of key workers.  Measures were then announced to support workers and businesses financially through the closures.  Interestingly, we now learn who the "key workers" are in our society.  The ones that we can't do without.  It isn't the financial sector.



Today, Monday 23rd March 2020, I got a text message instructing me to stay home and not go out for the next twelve weeks.  The NHS believe that if I were to get Coronavirus I would be at high risk of becoming extremely unwell.  Now it turns out I'm not going to be the only one who can't go out.  The Prime Minister has announced further restrictions.  Nobody is to go out unless absolutely necessary - which WILL be enforced.

In the meantime, I'm working from home, educating my children who are learning from home, Scouting from home.  So more on how we manage those things over the next few days.

Malvern Hills - what a view!

I cannot believe I've lived in Herefordshire for five and a half years, call myself a walker, and yet have never walked in the Malverns!  Not to worry, this oversight has now been corrected.  The plan had been to get up early and get up there to watch the sunrise from the top.  Unfortunately, we had a late night so decided to have a relaxed get up and then go.  It would have been better to go early because the car-park was packed when we eventually arrived!

 We parked opposite the Malvern Hills Hotel.  It's £4.40 for all day parking but you don't mind that when you know the money is going towards upkeep of the paths.

It's a short but steep walk from there up to Herefordshire Beacon (sometimes also called British Camp) where you can enjoy 360 degree views of Herefordshire and Worcestershire, and on a crisp morning like last Sunday it was absolutely gorgeous.

From there we walked around the west side of Hangman's Hill, through the Silurian Pass and along the east side of Swinyard Hill before the steep ascent up the south side.  Here we stopped for lunch.

 In theory we would walk down the north side of Swinyard, back to Silurian Pass, past the cave and then around the east side of Herefordshire Beacon.  However, as we descended Swinyard, Little Miss Busy realised that she had lost her camera somewhere on the route.  With much ranting (me - this is the second camera in a year), we emptied out the bags (dropping and leaving the dog lead in the process) and retraced our steps.  Eventually we made it back to the bottom of the Beacon, where I was so busy trying to drag a penitent child along, that I accidentally misplaced the dog!  More steps retraced until we found her and celebrated with joyous cuddles.

Unbelievably, as we eventually returned to the car-park, a lady approached with a broad smile and Little Miss' camera in her hand - she had recognised Blossom from the many photos on the camera.

Despite our mishaps and the general busy-ness of the Malverns, this was a genuinely fabulous walk and I can't wait to walk more of the Malverns.  This little range of hills that separate The Shire from the rest of the world are a treasure that I'm sorry to have overlooked thus far.  Only 35 minutes drive away from home, with the world laid out at your feet.

Helpful little hands

I know that I'm not the only one who gets frustrated about this.

My children, lovely though they are, are content to allow me to wait on them hand and foot.  If I want them to do something, even something which to me is obvious and which I know they are perfectly capable of completing, then I need to specifically ask:
e.g. 
It's dinner time.  They know its dinner time.  We got in from school and, while they dropped their bags in the hall and slumped with their tablets, I got straight on with making the dinner.  Now I have to ask them to please lay the table.  At the end of dinner, they go off immediately and play, or watch TV.  I guess they assume that the fairies will clear the table and carry everything back through to the kitchen.  So I have to ask them to carry some things through.  It always seems to come as a surprise!

Don't get me wrong, they are willing to do it.  It just doesn't occur to them that they should, unless I ask.

I decided that the best way to clarify our expectations of them, was to write them down.  Our children are aged nearly nine, and ten and a half.  Here's what I expect them to do:

I'm printing and laminating this list.  One copy in the kitchen and one in each of their bedrooms.

I'm doing this for two reasons really.  One is that I think children who feel useful are happier.  The other is that I will feel more supported.  And I don't like nagging, so making the expectations clear will hopefully lead to less of that!

How much do your children help out around the house?

Family mini-adventure - The Gower

Today we took a family mini-adventure to Rhossili, on the South-western tip of the Gower peninsula in South Wales.  This peninsula sticks out below Swansea and Rhossili Bay faces west towards the Pembrokeshire coast.  To the South across the Bristol Channel is Ilfracombe in North Devon, though that was lost in the haze today.

We started with a sausage bap from The Causeway cafe.  The staff were great and it's dog friendly too so Blossom was well catered for. 

Once we'd filled our stomachs we headed down the path to the beach.  It's a long expanse.  I think when the tide is in it's mostly covered, but we had a good two or three hours before high-tide so we strolled along, picking up shells and playing with the dog in the fresh air.  We were curious about a timber ship skeleton not far from where we got onto the beach - I've now discovered it's the Helvetia, and was wrecked all the way back in 1887!

  

We didn't go all the way to the end of the beach, though we'd gone a good distance, and headed up and into the dunes near Hillend caravan park.  We played in the dunes, sliding and climbing (and eating chocolate) as we headed back South along the coast path.

Back at the car-park we made use of our Tiffin set and sat for a picnic of hot chilli, warm home-made chapatis and flasks of hot coffee and hot chocolate.  Mmmm.  

We're resolved to stop being so busy and to take many more mini-adventures of this sort this year.

Today's accomplishments

Instead of a "to do" list, this is what is known as a "ta dah" list - as in, a little fanfare of jubilation for the things I've managed to do.

• Had a lie in - until 9am - go me!
• Then relaxed in front of "100 best walks", because... why not?  It's New Year's Day, I don't have a hangover because I didn't drink anything last night.  I was just relaxed!
• Started the medium term plan for Year 3 French for this term.
• Basket full of ironing.  And then two more loads of laundry.
• Read a chapter of my new book "The Body" by Bill Bryson.  Got pretty excited about all the microbes actually.
• made lunch and made the dough for this evening's pizza.
• sat down and completed the 1st draft of our new Induction Pack for County Appointments for Scouts Hereford and Worcester, and e-mailed it to the County Commissioner for his thoughts.
• e-mailed the 1st Holmer Scout Group leader team to ask for content for the Spring newsletter.
• started printing off Cubs personal details record cards so I can send them home to be checked for any contact info updates / accuracy at the beginning of the year.
• updated our finance records and responded to a bunch of e-mails.
• Got in touch with the Headteacher of a local primary school to arrange an assembly about what Scouts can offer.
• Finished making the dinner and then relaxed and watched Jurassic World with the family.
• Took the dog out for a run (mostly walking actually, but I'm out of practice so that's okay).
• wrote a blog post.

Considering how unhurried and relaxed I've felt today, I'm pretty pleased with how much I've accomplished.  I have a warm feeling of smugitude which is not very becoming but will help me go to sleep with a smile, after I've read another chapter of my book.