Being green is hard!

We all want to save the planet. We may not be signed up to Green peace or Extinction Rebellion, but very few of us are blind to the problems that face Planet Earth and the part that humans have had in the crisis.

So we should do something about it, right?

I love to read books about being green. My latest two are:

However, I find that a lot of people who write or blog about being green seem to live in their very own little utopia (I'd love to be corrected on this, so please feel free to comment). It's just that, while actions are suggested with optimism and energy, there's very little acknowledgement of how hard these changes are for people in the real world. We all want to make the changes, but it's not as simple as waving a magic wand.

So we should all shop local and seasonal, buy at farmers' markets or make use of those brilliant zero waste shops? We should leave the car at home and cycle everywhere?

Fantastic idea!

However:

• We don't all live in a metropolis where we use public transport to get to work and wander past little rows of shops with a grocer.
• We don't all have a lifestyle that allows us to get into town when the market is on.
• Most of us have to drop the kids off to school on the way to work, then rush to pick them up and get them to their next activity.
• We live lives where we balance work, family life, voluntary work, pet care, home care and maybe even a little self-care or sleep - there really isn't much extra time in there!
• Most of us live in places where public transport is shoddy at best and costs a fortune.
• For most of us, going to town (where the grocers and the Farmers' Market and the Zero Waste shop can be found) involves driving and paying for parking.

We all know that supermarkets over-transport and over-package their goods, but sadly they have developed to offer convenience and efficiency for those of us who live busy, rushed lives.  It's hard to walk away from that, even though we know it needs to be done.

Use less plastic and eat less meat?

I agree with both of these.

These are definitely changes we need to make to help our planet. However, again, we don't all live a life where that's easy to do.

Most of us live in families.

It's hard enough to change our own habits, let alone to change other people.

If you're making packed lunches for four, switching from pre-packaged (in plastic) snacks and products to home-made goodness is appealing, but takes time and planning. Equally, eating less meat requires you to learn new recipes, meals and ways of cooking, which need to be delicious enough to convince certain members of the family that get confused if a meal has no meat in it.

So of course we want to be greener, but let's just acknowledge that part of the reason we are in the predicament we are in, is because we are in a crazy spiral where lifestyles rely on convenience and convenience relies on lifestyle. Some of the changes we need to make will require big changes to our priorities and our lives.

Let's just acknowledge that this is not an easy thing for people to do.

Let's also get rid of the idea that the only way to make a difference is to go the whole hog and become a green, vegan, tree-hugging super-hero. I mean, hats-off to those green super-heroes, but let's remember that every little helps (oh no! I see what I did there!). If we all look at the problem and think that it's too big to solve, that there's no point because we can't do it all, then the problem won't get any smaller at all.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" Lao Tzu

 If we all do one small thing to make a difference, what a great big difference that will make. Once one change in your life has been successfully made, you can start to make another.

We're going to do this. We have to do this. But we can do it one step at a time.

Lockdown Targets

As lock-down here in the UK are extended by a further three weeks, I wonder what kind of lock-downer you are?  Are you a planner, with goals, targets and lists?  Are you a plate-spinner, trying to keep all those plates spinning but never sure where the next one will come from?  Or are you a drifter, not worrying too much and taking each day as it comes?

I don't think anybody who knows me will be surprised to find that I'm a planner.  I have a very love-hate relationship with lists.  There have been times when my lists have got out of control - if there's too much on there and I don't feel I'm getting things done it can make me feel anxious and despondent.  On the other end, if I see that I am making good progress through my lists then I can feel very good about myself.  I have tried to live without lists (I always ditch them when I'm away on holiday) but I can't keep it up for long.  I always end up wondering what I'm missing, what I'm forgetting to do... and I start writing things down so I don't forget... and before you know it I've got a list again.

So of course I have a plan for lock-down.  I would hate to come out feeling that I've wasted the potential of these twelve weeks.  Of course, as I've posted previously, I'm putting my own and my family's happiness as top priority.  I am also still being paid my (part time) salary to work from home.  That doesn't mean I can't have other targets too.  I won't go into detail here but here are some headlines.  I'd love to know what your aims are while you are at home.

• school work
• reviewing MFL provision at school
• supporting and planning for my Beavers and Cubs.
• planning adult training for Hereford and Worcester for Autumn and 2021
• supporting the training, validation and compliance of adult volunteers in the County.
• creative writing
• build up freelance writing
• tame garden
• finish decorating a few rooms in the house that have been started
• come out a few kg lighter and a lot fitter
• catch up with some of my craft projects

Why it's okay NOT to do Joe Wicks

No offence meant to Joe Wicks here.  I've done a couple of his workouts and the man is a legend.  The internet is bursting at the seams with activities that you can plug into or do at home at the moment.  There is so much choice out there.  The issue is that so many of us are trying to work from home and educate from home as well as just existing.  All these activities are a good source of inspiration for parents who are used to out-sourcing their children - gym classes, Cubs, swimming lessons, boxing and so on.  However, it does leave you with a vague sense that if you aren't doing Joe Wicks every morning, followed by online art lessons, online Steve Backshall, online Scout activities and online education, as well as downloading all the free resources being offered by the BBC, Twinkl and every other portal on the interweb, then you are somehow failing your children.

I'm here to tell you that this is not so.  

What is important is maintaining sanity and love within your family.  

In a time full of financial and health anxiety, in a time when people are concerned about their jobs and their family and friends, in a time when we are facing an unprecedented global pandemic, that's when we are all confined to our homes and cut off from friends and from the outdoors.  A walk alone in the woods is my choice of activity to re-balance and to restore my sense of self and optimism.  We normally have a healthy mix of society and solitude in our lives.  Time to think and time to talk.  At the moment we have some people forced into solitude, while others are denied it.  It's hard for our children too: used to the routine and society of school, time and space to run and jump, laugh hysterically at the daftest things, feel proud of themselves when they get the right answer or seek solace with friends if they don't.  Now they're stuck at home with only a limited understanding of why. 

I'll be honest.  I'm finding this hard.  I'm supposed to be self-isolated for another ten weeks.  I want to do a good job for the families I'm supporting as a teacher and as a Scout volunteer; I want to get the house and garden looking good; I want to build up my writing again; I want to get fit... all during this period of isolation.  What I'm learning though, is that looking after myself and my family is going to have to take priority here.  In the last few days I've had a deep sense of anxiety, unease and disquiet.  I have been irritable and tearful.  Miss Busy, who is very nine: noisy, messy and emotional, is finding the lock-down overwhelming and needing her mummy.  My husband, when he gets home from a busy and tense day as a hospital doctor, needs a lot of support too - for him, planning for the future helps him deal with the present.  

So I'm remembering that I need to prioritise cuddling with a film over replying to e-mails;  Playing a board game with the children over cleaning the floor;  While my to-do list doesn't get any shorter, reaffirming connections within the family, building our strength in this time of uncertainty, seems the more important task.  When this is over, like the flowers that grow back more vigorously after they've been cut back, we will be ready to bloom vibrantly.  When we look back, we'll think of 2020 as the year that made us.

So don't feel that you have to be busy all the time.  Don't feel that you need to keep up with all the activities and resources.  Don't worry about fancy-schmancy specially-created internet resources and lessons.

Do your best to keep up with the things that you have to do for your work and your children's education (don't worry too much about this - they are remarkable at learning when nobody is teaching them, and will also soon fill in the gaps when they get back to school).  Mostly though, it's okay to do the simple things, to spend time just being, and just connecting with your children.

Here are a few things you can do as a family: 

1) play with the kids - get the Lego or the doll house out and get down there and play with the children.

2) Do the housework together.  This one may be a harder sell for older kids, but I taught Mr Build-it to iron shirts yesterday (we had to submit a video for his Scout Skills Challenge), you're teaching them valuable life skills, and its definitely more fun when you do it together - and that's a life-lesson in itself.

3) Play silly games like charades and hide-and-seek.  A daft friend posted a video of herself playing noughts-and-crosses with her dog.  (ask and I'll tell you how - very amusing!)

5) Rediscover peaceful crafts that you can just sit and do together - drawing, painting, rock painting, crochet, knitting and sewing.  Or if those don't appeal - how about wood-work or creating miniature models for Warhammer or a model railway.  These things take time and lets face it, we're not going anywhere in a hurry, and you get the satisfaction of creating something.

6) Bake and cook together.  Explore those cook books and come up with some recipes that you can make.  (Forward planning is useful here as given the shopping limitations for most of us at the moment.)

Most of all, try to relax.  Don't try to do too much.  Press the "Reset System" button on your life.

A dog's eye view of lockdown

Hello.  I'm called Blossom.  I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there's something going on around here.

For some reason, the humans are staying in the den and not going out on patrol.

My soft place in the den.  They call it my "BED"

 In normal times, they get up in the morning and we go on our first patrol then its time for breakfast.
After that they go on patrol to other places.  Daddy goes on "HOSPITAL" patrol and Mummy and the small ones go to "SCHOOL" patrol.  They call it "WORK".  I am on guard duty at the den.  Fay comes at lunchtime and takes me on fun patrol with all my dog friends.  Later everybody comes home and we have a lovely evening together with the pack, though sometimes they go out to another patrol which they call "SCOUTS". 

This is my Mummy.  I love her.

 For the last ten days though, Mummy has only left the Den twice, and not at all in the last week!  I don't know what's going on but I really love it!  Daddy is taking me on patrol in the morning, and then he's out at Hospital Patrol all day, but Mummy and the Small Ones stay in the den with me!  A couple of times the Small Ones have taken me for a quick patrol to the field but I don't understand.  I want to run and bounce with the other dogs but they keep me on the "LEAD".  At least I'm out and about a bit though so I can keep an eye on everything.

This is my "sun place".  I sit here to keep an eye out for any cats or squirrels who come near my den.  Also it's lovely in the sun.  I sometimes fall asleep a bit.

 So what has this meant for me?  A LOT of cuddles!  I get to have a cuddle with Mummy whenever I want to!  I bring her my toy or I nudge her with my nose or my paw.  This is my way of signalling to mummy that she is spending too much time on the "COMPUTER" (she thinks she is still on patrol, but hasn't worked out that she's still in the den).  After that, she invites me onto her lap and I nudge her until she's stroking or tickling just the right bit.

This is my favourite toy at the moment.  I usually destroy toys but this one is proving quite tough.

me looking thoughtful.  I'm actually distracted by a cloud.  Nobody needs to know that though.

Thoughts on Home working and what we're all doing in the shut-down.

I posted yesterday about Home Learning and how to support the children during this shut-down.

In the meantime, what have I been doing?  As a teacher I am technically a key worker but my underlying kidney disease, vasculitis and immune suppression mean that I am classed as "extremely vulnerable".  I have been home-working since last Wednesday, and as of Monday evening am on the list of people who are not supposed to leave the house for 12 weeks.  

 Each morning I have started with my home-working teaching tasks while the children have been busy with their work.  This involves working with my Year 2 colleagues to compile appropriate work for the children to do from home in each of the subject areas.  As parents email the work in, we note it, respond, post something on the school twitter-feed, post the answers for the parents to be able to mark their work and generally follow up.  We're also taking the opportunity to catch up on paperwork and planning across the school.

After I've done this, I move on to virtual Scouting.  I'm running a Cub Pack and a Beaver Colony so I'm regularly posting activities or badge work that children can be getting on with at home.  I'm looking forward to running a virtual meeting on a video-call platform too so they all get to see one another.  We'll probably have a go at that next week.  

In my County Scout role I'm rearranging adult training modules so that people can pick up on them after the shut-down, but also supporting people to use this opportunity while they are at home to do some e-learning and get their training validated.

Once I've done this I move on to writing.  I'm trying to warm-up my skills a bit by entering writing competitions.  I know that I'm unlikely to win any prizes but the discipline of a deadline and trying out writing in different genres is quite refreshing.  I've entered a Travel Writing one so far, and am now working on an entry for a humorous poetry competition.  Also the fact that I'm stuck indoors, I can stretch my wings a bit here on my blog.

Each day I'm also making sure that I get some exercise.  I've returned to my old favourite Claire Sweeney Slimming World DVD but also had a go at Joe Wicks does PE this morning with the children.  I'm attempting to tame a mature and somewhat wild garden, starting with a patch that Miss Busy has asked to adopt.  Also, the house hasn't been so clean since just after we moved in.  We do have some decorating to do but, while the sun is shining, the garden gets priority.

Plus, of course, spending time with my children.  Making sure that they are getting some of their schoolwork done and not spending all day in front of a screen.  Making sure that they are okay.

What are you all doing during this shut-down?  What does your day look like?

Thoughts on "Home-learning"

Schools are closed and many of us are cooped up in our homes with our children.

Miss Busy doing yoga as set by her teacher

That's no bad thing.  We all lead over-busy lives, racing around from activity to activity.  While nobody wants this Coronavirus and we all wish it would go away, while nobody wants to be forced to stay indoors and not be able to work (and for many people - earn money), this time of enforced confinement may be the reset button they were looking for in their lives.  It's certainly a time for us to re-establish a connection with our children.  

Most of us leave the children's education to school.  We occasionally glance at or support homework, and we turn up at parents' evening, but we aren't really involved with their learning - that's school's job, right?  Now we are being asked to support and guide our children through all their learning tasks for a protracted amount of time.  Many schools are trying to support the parents and continue managing the task of educating by providing work each day and asking the children/parents to submit it.  As parents, how do we manage this?

First, I think it's important to remember that you are the parent and you know your child.  You have a few options here:

1) stick to the school timetable, or create your own strict timetable.  Use the school's materials or some you have provided or sourced yourselves.  You can either work with your child, ensure your child understands the task and supervise them, or rely on your child to stick to the timetable.

2) use the materials the school has provided, or materials of your own, but throw the timetable out of  the window.  Opting instead for a "as long as you get everything on the list done, you choose how long to work on it and when to do it" attitude.  This works well with children who are largely independent, but you can also encourage children to come to you for specific tasks or if they need help.

Miss Busy helped me out by trialling an activity I set for my Year 2 class.

3)  Ignore any "formal" learning materials.  Take this time to connect with your child, trust that they will fall into a natural rhythm and that they will be learning through living.  Encourage creative activities, but don't be too hung up on curriculum or formal lessons.  If you are following this option, you should let your school know your intentions.  During this time of shut-down there is nothing to stop you doing things your own way, but teachers, who are working hard to provide and follow up on set work will be concerned about you and your children if they don't hear anything.

They are also working on the 30 day lego challenge

I've personally gone for option 2.  My children are independent enough that they know how to access the work that school has set and are keen to complete it.  The main rule is that they must do these activities before they play any computer games or watch TV, but they can do them in any order and I encourage regular breaks.  We are only on day 3 but already the way they work has evolved.  To begin with, Miss Busy was trying hard to stick to normal school hours of working.  However, I noted that she was sneaking on to games on the computer in between school activities because she had finished them in less than the allotted time.  When I pointed out that she didn't need to wait until "the lesson was over" before moving on, and that she could start before 9am if she wanted to, she was liberated.  This morning she started at 7am, got all her school tasks done by 10am, played on the computer for an hour, made the lunch, and is now playing in the garden.  

Miss Busy's portrait of Henry VIII

Mr Build-it has loved the independence to work through tasks at his own pace and has very much enjoyed e-mailing his work to his teacher.  Today, however, he was traumatised by a music task which involved singing, and encouraged children to submit a video of them singing a song.  I tried to assure him that this was not compulsory and that nobody would even know if he had sung the song or not, but he felt that if school had set the task, be must complete it, even if he hates having photos taken or singing where people can hear him (despite the fact that he has a lovely singing voice and is happy to play the piano to an audience!).  There were many tears and he put off starting any of the school work for some time, to evade getting to the point where he needed to do the music.

So how to manage this process when you are also supposed to be working from home:

Steps to success:

• make sure your child has somewhere to work / concentrate / focus on whatever activities they are doing and the tools they need - sharp pencils, rubber, ruler, pens, art material, access to computer etc.
• check in with your child regularly to ensure that they know what they are doing, help them if they don't.  Depending on your child, it may be a good idea to have them working next to you as you will be able to help them focus.
• Ensure they take a break.  If they are struggling to focus, they need a change of activity, a breather or a snack.  In school they will be regularly moving from talk-partners to independent work, from carpet (whole class) to desk, snack time, assembly etc.  Up to year 3 they rarely sit still for more than about 20-30 minutes at a time.
• Once their fixed "work" is done, celebrate!  Whether this is by taking photos of the work to send to the teacher, sharing it with Gran via a video call, having an hour to play on the computer or a star on a chart.
• After this formal learning is done, make the time to spend at least an hour doing something with your children, whether this is a new hobby, gardening, housework, playing a board or computer game, reading, playing Lego, an exercise DVD or something completely different.  Spend time together and show that you value their company.

Helpful little hands

I know that I'm not the only one who gets frustrated about this.

My children, lovely though they are, are content to allow me to wait on them hand and foot.  If I want them to do something, even something which to me is obvious and which I know they are perfectly capable of completing, then I need to specifically ask:
e.g. 
It's dinner time.  They know its dinner time.  We got in from school and, while they dropped their bags in the hall and slumped with their tablets, I got straight on with making the dinner.  Now I have to ask them to please lay the table.  At the end of dinner, they go off immediately and play, or watch TV.  I guess they assume that the fairies will clear the table and carry everything back through to the kitchen.  So I have to ask them to carry some things through.  It always seems to come as a surprise!

Don't get me wrong, they are willing to do it.  It just doesn't occur to them that they should, unless I ask.

I decided that the best way to clarify our expectations of them, was to write them down.  Our children are aged nearly nine, and ten and a half.  Here's what I expect them to do:

I'm printing and laminating this list.  One copy in the kitchen and one in each of their bedrooms.

I'm doing this for two reasons really.  One is that I think children who feel useful are happier.  The other is that I will feel more supported.  And I don't like nagging, so making the expectations clear will hopefully lead to less of that!

How much do your children help out around the house?

Today's accomplishments

Instead of a "to do" list, this is what is known as a "ta dah" list - as in, a little fanfare of jubilation for the things I've managed to do.

• Had a lie in - until 9am - go me!
• Then relaxed in front of "100 best walks", because... why not?  It's New Year's Day, I don't have a hangover because I didn't drink anything last night.  I was just relaxed!
• Started the medium term plan for Year 3 French for this term.
• Basket full of ironing.  And then two more loads of laundry.
• Read a chapter of my new book "The Body" by Bill Bryson.  Got pretty excited about all the microbes actually.
• made lunch and made the dough for this evening's pizza.
• sat down and completed the 1st draft of our new Induction Pack for County Appointments for Scouts Hereford and Worcester, and e-mailed it to the County Commissioner for his thoughts.
• e-mailed the 1st Holmer Scout Group leader team to ask for content for the Spring newsletter.
• started printing off Cubs personal details record cards so I can send them home to be checked for any contact info updates / accuracy at the beginning of the year.
• updated our finance records and responded to a bunch of e-mails.
• Got in touch with the Headteacher of a local primary school to arrange an assembly about what Scouts can offer.
• Finished making the dinner and then relaxed and watched Jurassic World with the family.
• Took the dog out for a run (mostly walking actually, but I'm out of practice so that's okay).
• wrote a blog post.

Considering how unhurried and relaxed I've felt today, I'm pretty pleased with how much I've accomplished.  I have a warm feeling of smugitude which is not very becoming but will help me go to sleep with a smile, after I've read another chapter of my book.

New Year resolutions

I don't really have any New Year resolutions this year.  I already made some back in the Summer and they are "Things I want to achieve by the time I'm 42."

I'll share them here now, only because it makes me more accountable and therefore should help me along with my will power.

1. My family.  I want to spend more time doing things outdoors with my family.  I'll put things in the diary - walks in the hills, days out on the bikes, make use of our campervan, make picnics and get out in the outdoors.  I'd like to spend time finishing jobs around the house together, and making sure the garden looks amazing so the house is a relaxing and wonderful place to spend time.
2. Get below 65kg.  I'm aiming to do this by exercising for at least 30 mins daily.  I'm going to give myself some fitness goals along the way too, such as a 5km run, then a 10km run, and then a triathlon sometime in the Summer.  To help me out, I'll weigh more regularly, and write down what I'm eating.
3. Write a book and sent it to a publisher, and make money from my writing.  I'm going to work on editing a book that I've already finished (it was some time ago, so it's probably going to be quite a comprehensive edit).  I'm also going to work on teaching resources to sell, work on People Per Hour etc. and also keep a track on time spent on writing projects so I can see how much I actually earn per hour.
4. Have some control over finances - I'm going to save money I make from writing to spend on treat days and holidays.  I'm also going to make and stick to a grocery budget each week.
5. Scouts - I'm going to create a County Induction Pack, complete all my Manager and Supporter Training, establish a wider training team for the county, develop a wider Cub Leader team at Holmer, increase the Wildcat Pack to 36 Cubs and go camping with the Cubs at least once per term.
6. Teaching - I'm going to have a successful year.  I'd like the lessons I teach to be exemplary in terms of children being engaged and enthused, reflecting on own learning and learning behaviours, developing vocabulary and independence.  Most of all, I'd like the children in my classes to be happy, confident and kind.  I'd like to develop the Modern Foreign Language teaching in collaboration with the high schools we feed to.  I'd like the garden club at school to develop our garden to make it a place that people are proud of and want to spend time.  I'd like to be viewed as somebody that people can turn to for help or advice when they need it.

Those are my ambitions for the year ahead.  Now I just need to rediscover my energy, which seems to have escaped me lately, and my willpower, to enable me to achieve any or all of these.

Packing to move house

Moving house is fun.

Ummm.... I'm not sure that's right.  I've heard that its one of the most stressful experiences in life.  It is a bit exciting though.

piles of boxes

I'm currently at the stage where I am surrounded by half-filled boxes.  We've ten days until moving day, and while I'm confident that we'll get it all done, the task is looking slightly daunting.  My six year old asked me to buy some oranges so she could make her own orange juice - and my voice may have gone up a couple of octaves as I very slowly and reasonably explained that we are trying to get rid of mess - not make more!

ready for the charity shop

Having a clear out:  I'm being quite brutal at getting rid of things that we don't love any more.  Our new house is a bit smaller than our current rented house, and definitely smaller than the house we sold in Scotland.  As we move from room to room I have four categories: recycle centre, charity shop, sell and pack.  Items for the first three groups are put into piles in the kitchen.  I'm taking photos of items to sell or to try and free-cycle and getting them straight on to the local car-boot type Facebook groups.  If nobody wants them in a day or two they transfer to the charity-shop or recycle centre piles.  When the charity shop and recycle centre piles in the kitchen are large enough - off they go!  Only things that we love or definitely use are making it into the packing boxes.

not even started on this room yet!

I've read that it's best to pack one room at a time.  That's not what we're doing.  We have boxes in every room and seem to be working on them all simultaneously, packing first those things which are non-essentials, for example warm coats and winter shoes, books, toys and games, DVDs etc.

Working hard not to pack those things we'll need over the next couple of weeks, for example things the kids will need for Beaver Sleepover, things I'll need for school work etc!

When tenants don't pay rent - a cautionary tale.

We never intended to become landlords.  When we decided to move from Clackmannanshire in Scotland down to middle England so that we could be closer to family as our children grew up, we thought that we'd just sell the house, buy another one and move.  To make the overlap easier to manage, and to allow us to get C started at school at the beginning of the school year, we decided to rent for six months.

As it happened, the house sale never materialised.  We're not sure why, as it's a fantastic home in a lovely location, and people who have viewed have generally loved it - it just never translated into a sale.  At first the market was stagnant, then it was winter and "sales always slow down at this time of year", then it was the run up to the Scottish Referendum and nobody was buying, then it was winter again.  The first estate agents were not impressive, but we are confident the second lot we used were working hard for us... but still no sale. 

As the second winter approached and the house started to take on that empty house smell, and we were also paying 200% Council Tax for the privilege of having an empty house, we decided to try renting it out.  If it went well, then we'd look at getting a second mortgage to buy down in Herefordshire.  If it went very well, maybe the tenants would love the house so much they would want to buy it (I've seen this happen to two other houses in the village already!).  

In the meantime, we were (and still are) renting in Herefordshire.  The house is fine, but it's not in the location we wanted, and because it was always meant to be a short-term rental, we have never made it home.

We were delighted to get tenants moving into our house in February.  Even better, they seemed ideal, a young family with children the same ages as our own who attended the local primary school.  And as they had pets, their options for renting would have been fairly limited.  Ideal - they would love the house and would be anticipating staying.

Sadly, that's not how it has worked out.  For the first couple of months things were great.  They called the agency a few times as there were a couple of niggly issues from the house having been empty (dishwasher not working etc), which we promptly had fixed, and they paid the rent.  The last time that happened was back in March.  They even phoned and asked for permission to film "Couples Come Dine with Me" in the house (which we granted, not sure when it's on, sometime soon I think).  But then they  stopped paying rent.  We have had two communications since then.  The first one they came up with some story about the bank freezing their account but they'd pay next week - this didn't happen.  The second was when the agency wrote to tell them that we'd be terminating the rental at the end of the six month tenancy - they phoned to ask if we'd reconsider.  Hubby was incredulous - "but you haven't paid your rent!?".  Nothing has been heard from them since.  NO RENT - NOTHING.  The agency has phoned and written to them, but they don't respond.  The agency has carried out an inspection, but there was nobody home except the dog.  I hear that they've had a holiday in Venice since March, and I understand they keep horses - so they must have money from somewhere, but clearly paying their rent is not a priority.

So far I've kept this private.  I didn't want to spread their financial issues on social media - but as the time comes nearer for the end of their tenancy, Hubby and I are getting more and more anxious and angry that we have been so taken advantage of.  We entered into this rental in good faith and have done everything possible to look after our tenants.  They have not extended us the same courtesy and owe us nearly four thousand pounds. 

We are just hopeful now that they leave the house without any difficulty, and that they leave it in the same lovely condition that it was in when they  moved in.  Then we'll put it back on the market and hope against hope that this time somebody comes along, falls in love with it and snaps it up so they can love living there as much as we have done.

Christmas is coming!

Yesterday on Facebook I saw a post from a friend saying that his wife had the Christmas cake in the oven, and we get to the sudden realisation that Christmas must be coming. 

I remember as a child that Christmas was not allowed to begin (i.e. talking about it, shopping for it, getting excited about it) until after Dad's birthday (20th November), which held back the craziness nicely.  We have a similar rule here chez Inkspots - Hubby's birthday is the 29th November.

Not quite that easy though.  Here are the things that thrust Christmas earlier onto our conscience:

• THE SHOPS.  Yes, the Christmas things came out as soon as the Back to School things went away, shoulder to shoulder with Halloween delights.  Now that Halloween is out of the way they can go at Christmas with gusto!
• MAIL ORDER.  Many of us now do the bulk of our Christmas shopping on-line, preferring an evening with the laptop and a glass of wine to the hot shops/ cold outdoors crush of pre-Christmas shopping (except maybe as a one-off to buy a couple of things and smugly sample the Gluwein at a Christmas market while raising your eyebrows at the antics of the non-mail-order shoppers).
• CRAFTING.  Anybody who plans to make gifts for Christmas, table decorations, Advent calendars and so on will should already be well underway with their endeavours to have any hope of getting it all done in time.
• SCHOOL.  If you're a parent you may well be aware that the children are already practising Christmas songs (that's me doing that!) and the Christmas play - all that starts straight after half term.  If your school is one of the many that sells Christmas cards designed by the children themselves, then your child will have designed their card weeks ago and you'll probably already have had to submit your order.  Teachers are right now planning what Christmas delights they will be making to send home with the children so that they can squeeze it all in with the Christmas play, carol concerts and maybe even a bit of reading and writing. 
• FAMILY PLANS.  I've had the message from one sister asking for ideas for the children's gifts, to which I have duly responded, keeping a few ideas back for when my in-laws ask the same question nearer December, and one or two for me too.  We've made our plans of when we are visiting each part of the family over the Christmas period and where we'll be on Christmas Day, and have also got another invitation to reply to.

So far I've got as far as: 

• preparing the Christmas songs to inflict on the children at school, 
• contributed to the ideas for the Christmas production at school, 
• planning the school PTA Christmas fair,
• making a list of what I am going to gift each member of my family, highlighting things that need making,
• planning our Christmas, including trying to work out when the best time will be to go to the supermarket... too early and the food will go off while we're away visiting the in-laws, leave it until we get back and it's OMG CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE SUPERMARKET!

I still need to:

• plan what and when I'm going to cook or bake,
• actually do something to help with the Christmas fair.
• Sing the Christmas songs with the children at school so that we don't deafen the old folks at the residential home we are visiting at the beginning of December.
• make stuff on my list,
• buy stuff on my list,
• write Christmas cards, and oh... everything else.... jingle, jingle... Christmas is a-coming!
  

On being a working mum

Over the last six years I have had increasing admiration for my mum and dad, my sisters and all working parents out there.  

Hubby and I made the decision that I would be a stay-at-home-mum.  We wanted me to be there for the children in those early years.  It worked well.  I enjoyed being with the children, we played, went for walks, went swimming, made stuff, played with friends, baked and had a great time.  In the last year before they went to school they started attending pre-school, to build more structure into their day and get used to being with other children and adults.

Throughout all this I was watching my sisters.  My younger sister has taken maternity leave and gone right back to work full-time.  She's worked full-time continuously and her two children are now eight and six.  My elder sister has four children, currently aged 7 (almost 8!), five, three and six months.  She worked full time initially after the first baby, then on moving to Devon went part time, and continued working part time as babies number 2 and 3 were added to the family, and then started up her own freelance business from home, adding number 4 to the brood.  I have for some time thought these two were superwomen.  While I spent my days playing, making stuff and having a great time, they were out at work, but they still also managed to incorporate time for and with the children, the mountains of laundry, getting packed lunches sorted, and birthday cakes and birthday parties, juggling child-care, nurseries, sports days, looking after the children when they were poorly, filling in the slips at the bottom of letters.  I take my hat off to them.


I tried working from home myself for a while (as regular followers will know), while Bug was at pre-school two days each week.  I did okay.  I earned a little bit of money, but not enough to call a living.  There was too much else to do: PTA, voluntary stuff for the pre-school committee or the Scouts, walking the dog, getting the groceries, doing the laundry and housework and getting some exercise.

I'm now two weeks into my REAL WORKING MUM journey (even though I'm only working 2.5 days per week at the moment) back as a Primary School Teacher.  I'll pat myself on the back because I'm doing okay.  The children have clean and ironed uniform to wear.  They have packed lunches when they are supposed to and letters do seem to be getting signed and returned on time (so far).  We have dinner on the table each evening.  I'm also managing to keep up with my own workload of planning and marking that happens outside of school hours (as well as continuing with freelance writing commitments and a couple of craft orders on Etsy and Folksy).  I've forgotten the Forest School clothes once, and forgot to leave their booster seats for the person picking them up another time.  I've yet to see how I'm going to manage to leave school promptly at 4.45pm after a staff meeting, drive for 20 minutes, pick the children up, drive for 20 minutes (if the traffic into Hereford is clear!!!!), and get them changed for a 5.30pm swimming lesson.  This is going to take a minor miracle to achieve successfully week after week.  I do have a pile of letters next to me from school and Beavers waiting to be read, noted in the calendar, signed and returned.  I'm conscious that I haven't heard the readers at school that I'm supposed to hear on a Friday, and that I haven't put up my French display yet.

It hasn't always been perfect or easy these last few years as a Stay-at-Home-Mum, but I've had a ball, it has definitely been worth it and I wouldn't change it for the world.  

I was ready to go back to work, and I'm relishing the changes and challenges that come along with that.  I am beginning to feel again that I am about more than laundry, bum-wiping and baking, and to stimulate my grey cells with research, planning fun lessons and real grown-up conversations.  I'm planning to get up to full time after Christmas.

Combining the two is my next adventure, and to those of you superwomen (and men) out there who combine parenting with work without making a complete hash of it - I salute you.